I: Memory
by Shimegami-chan
Summary: [I] A child toys with the idea of love and friends lost as his memory slowly fades into darkness.


Digimon's not mine. I've built the bridge.  
  
*bursts into tears*   
  
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Shi-chan: What the heck am I _thinking?_ I get one review for Pride, and then I run off and write *another* part of this set! I HAVE AN EXAM TOMORROW!  
Ken: Kill the caps lock, babe.  
Shi-chan: Sorry. Anyway, thanks go out to Athena, who always seems to read these first. Must be AuthorAlert. I'm flattered, coz I love your fics. Anyway, no, Daisuke's not dead, that was just him talking to himself. And Miyako's my favorite female character too--what have I done!?!?  
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Memory  
By Shimegami-chan  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: AU. I listened to a minute-long Butterfly MIDI for three hours, and this is the product. Eek.  
  
This is a follow-up to [Insanity][1], [Clarity,][2] [Grief,][3] and [Pride,][4] but you don't need to read them first. However, if you like this story and you _want_ to go back and read them, I'm not stoppping you...   
  
_**Important Note!**_  
  
_Yep, yep..._   
  
Meet my shameless plugs.  
  
['In Your Shoes,'][5] Kenyako, chapter 5 updated on June 11--**today!**.  
['Sadness-Colored Sandglass,'][6] Kensuke, chapter 12 updated on May 26.   
  
Thanks minna-san! On with the fic!   
  
  
  
  
  
I am the unscathed one.   
  
Or so they said.   
  
  
I am a child without a parent.   
  
I am a bird trapped in a cage.   
  
I am boy without a friend.   
  
  
  
They told me I was crazy. I didn't mean to be, I swear I didn't. But it wasn't like I had much of a choice.   
  
At first they thought it was because of _him._ I don't remember his name, 'cause I don't remember much of anything. I hated him so much.   
  
And then, I think he died.   
  
Or at least went very far away. That was before we left, of course. I just knew that he wasn't around as much as he used to be, and I was glad.   
  
I had a best friend. I don't remember her name either, though I'm sure it was a her. She had purple hair, like his. Lighter though. I was mad at her for a while because I knew she liked him, and I hated him, but there was nothing I could do.   
  
She never cared about my opinion anyway.   
  
She was tall, and beautiful in every sense of the word. I don't like to say it, but I think I loved her. Not in that 'you're-my-friend,' type of way, actual _love._   
  
Of course, I never told her that. She was too busy crying over _him._   
  
It wouldn't have worked. Takeru--I remember Takeru, my...partner? My friend?--told me so, and I beleived what he had to say, because he was Wise. I told him in absolute confidence. He said that not only was she in love with _him,_ that she and I wouldn't work out because I was too young. I was the youngest out of us all.   
  
How old am I?   
  
I gave up after that, even though she meant a lot to me. She was sad when _he_ finally disappeared. He was in a place that was all white and sterile-looking--I went once, with her. I never went again. It wasn't worth it; I was glad he was gone or dead or whatever.   
  
I guess I brought it on myself, what happened after that.   
  
Takeru, my only real friend--at least, the only one I could confide in--went into the hospital, and never came out. A life for a life? I wished my enemy's death, so one of my friends must pay the price. That didn't seem right, because it hurt everyone.   
  
And _he_ wasn't even dead.   
  
He came to Takeru's funeral and pretended to cry. As though he needed to fake sadness over such a victory! I know exactly what he was thinking. He was glad Takeru was gone. He had _her_ all to himself, and he made the others sad. Even me.   
  
Especially me.   
  
After that, the deaths just kept coming. My grandfather passed away in his sleep one night, no warning, nothing. Probably another payment for the trouble _he'd_ caused. Mother broke down and we moved out to the country, to a small house.   
  
Far, far away from _her._   
  
That was when it started to happen--memories began getting hazy, names started slipping away, and my grades dropped. Mother thought I was depressed over Grandfather and Takeru. Oh no, no.   
  
Then, what was it over?   
  
I can't remember.   
  
It all started getting foggy, and they took me here. What they're going to do, I'm not sure. Stick a needle in me? I don't think I can feel any more pain. I was never suicidal--I'm barely ten and my life is in shambles. Do I need a counsellor? Hell yes. Somebody help me, I'm turning into someone else right before my own eyes.   
  
Please...I remember her, the one of violet that I loved so much.   
  
I remember my smiling grandfather.   
  
My bitter enemy of indigo.   
  
A pet, or a friend, who cries to me in my dreams sometimes. Have I left something behind?   
  
I remember Takeru, and Hope.   
  
But I can't remember my own name.   
  
Won't someone help me?   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Shi-chan: Man....I am REALLY screwing with these people's minds...  
Seki: That was Iori's POV, in case you didn't guess.   
Shi-chan: And Athena, there's nothing I'd like better than to make a nice happy epilogue...but it would make a nasty mess of the only angst series I've ever done. *sweatdrop* More soon!

   [1]: http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=285678
   [2]: http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=307342
   [3]: http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=307473
   [4]: http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=313225
   [5]: http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&StoryID=278819&Chapter=4
   [6]: http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&StoryID=229476&Chapter=12



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